David J. Danto

Business travel thoughts in my own, personal opinion

eMail: ddanto@IMCCA.org Follow Industry News: @NJDavidD

(Read David’s Bio) (See David’s CV) (Read David’s Other Blogs & Articles)

The Air Travel Misery Index

“How was your flight” was the question we’d ask a friend or colleague that we knew just arrived via air travel. That question was usually answered with how nice the experience was – up until the 1990s. After then, business travelers generally adopted the phrase “uneventful” as a way to describe an ideal experience – meaning none of the many things that could have gone wrong came to be. Now, in a post 9/11 and post airline merger world, we’ve generally come to the point where we just stop asking. One doesn’t ask victims how their torture was, and for the most part, we all now understand that US airline passengers are essentially victims of management greed. The customer experience is a far lesser consideration than how much money airlines can make for their management and shareholders, and ‘striving for excellence’ as a market differentiator isn’t even a consideration for the evil misers running US airlines today.

So, in this post-excellence world, how do we rate and compare our individual travel experiences? There has to be a better gauge for comparison than “it sucked” or “I survived” so that we can measure-up each experience to the last and next ones.

In order to do just that I’ve developed the following misery index for rating our air travel experiences. Following this guide and ratings scale will allow travelers to compare trips they’ve taken with those of other travelers, and with past trips they’ve endured. Just follow the scoring system, adding and subtracting points as you go, and tally the results at the end. Rest assured that I’m making NONE of these experiences up – they’ve all been part of my personal travel for the last few years.

Line Number	Experience	Add (or subtract)	Start at -0- and keep a running total
1	Your flight is showing on time before you leave for the airport	+10
2	You make it through security in less than 20 minutes	+10
3	The TSA pulls you out for secondary screening or needs to rummage through your bag	-15
4	You go to the airline club and easily find a chair	+5
5	You have to wait in line at an airport bathroom or airline club bathroom	-5
6	You find a seat at your departure gate	+10
7	The seat at the departure gate is at a table and is bolted to the floor so you can’t move it	-10
8	‘Gate Lice’ line up to board the flight more than 30 minutes before boarding starts	-10
9	Your upgrade clears	+25
10	You are shown on the upgrade list in position 2 to 30+	-10
11	You are on the upgrade list in position 1 or 2, but it does not clear	-20
12	A gate change is announced	-20
13	Your flight does not board on time	-10
14	Your flight does not board on time, and no one from the airline announces why	-20
15	Your flight is cancelled before you board	-70
16	The gate agent hassles you about the size of your carry-on bag	-20
17	You board your flight on time	+10
18	There is no room near your seat for your carry on-bag	-20
19	There is an empty seat next to you	+25
20	Your flight is delayed after boarding	-25
21	You have to ‘unboard’ the plane due to a delay or mechanical issue (go back to line 6 and add/subtract for any additional occurrences)	-50
22	You are given a last minute ‘battlefield’ upgrade	+25
23	There is no room for your carry-on in the upgraded section	-20
24	The pilot lies to you over the PA system (says you’re leaving on time when your ATC app shows an airport ground stop)	-25
25	The flight takes-off on time	+50
26	The flight crew apologizes because they don’t have the proper catering / meals / drinks due to a ground issue at the airport you just left	-25
27	You are sitting behind a ‘serial-recliner’ that whips the seat all the way back onto you immediately after the flight takes off	-20
28	You are sitting in front of a poorly supervised child that kicks you in the back for the entire flight	-20
29	Turbulence or the threat of it keeps the seat-belt sign on over an hour into the flight	-10
30	The restroom is filthy or doesn’t operate correctly	-15
31	The flight has Wi-Fi or an IFE system, but it doesn’t work	-25
32	The flight lands early or on-time	+50
33	The flight lands more than 15 minutes late	-25
34	The flight is diverted to an alternate airport	-100
35	After landing it takes more than 10 minutes to get to a gate	-25
36	After arriving at your gate it takes more than 10 minutes for the jetbridge / ground-crew to open the door and begin disembarking the passengers	-25
37	You make your connection (add points and go back to line 6)	+35
38	You miss your connection and are rerouted (subtract points and go back to line 6)	-35
39	You miss your connection and you have to wait until the next day to travel – the airline arranges lodging and meals (subtract points and go back to line 1)	-75
40	You miss your connection and you have to wait until the next day to travel – the airline abandons you without arrangements for lodging/meals/support (subtract points and go back to line 1)	-150

How did you do?

200 or more:	You’ve just had a miraculous experience, congratulations! Revel in the how unlikely your good fortune was.
100 to 200:	You’ve just had an uncommonly good trip. Enjoy your good luck.
50 to 100:	Tell your friends that your flight was “not bad” and mean it.
0 to 50:	You made it, and after all – that’s all the airline promises they would do for you.
-50 to 0:	The state of air travel today is not good, and you’ve just seen why.
-100 to -50:	Welcome to the ranks of today’s suffering air traveler. Rest assured the airline’s management will still collect all their equity options regardless of your experience.
-200 to -100:	The airline will say they sincerely apologize for your experience today, but they always lie anyway, so that shouldn’t surprise you.
-200 or less:	You just had a pitiful experience. Complain. Post about it on Twitter. Maybe the media will pick up the story. It won’t accomplish anything but you’ll feel better.

After you’ve calculated your misery index a few times compare scores from trip to trip. Share the table and compare your scores to those of other travelers. What you’ll learn is that metrics do actually back-up what you already know – the US airline experience is terrible today, and the current airline management doesn’t care.

This article was written by David Danto and contains solely his own, personal opinions.

All image and links provided above as reference under prevailing fair use statutes.