What Does It Mean To Relax

David J. Danto

Travel thoughts in my own, personal opinion

eMail: ddanto@IMCCA.org Follow Industry News: @NJDavidD on

What Does It Mean To Relax June 2026

As many readers know, my wife and I recently returned from a wonderful Alaska cruise. Seeing the glaciers, fjords, waterfalls, and wildlife of Alaska had been on my bucket list for years. The trip was everything I hoped it would be and more.

But like many trips, it also taught me something I wasn't expecting.

Not about cruising.

Not about Alaska.

Not even about travel.

It taught me that two people can use the same word and mean completely different things.

The word was relax.

At first glance, it seems like one of the simplest words in the English language. Ask ten people what it means, and they'll probably all say they know exactly what relaxation is.

I'm no longer convinced that's true.

When we booked this cruise, one of the reasons I was willing to splurge on a suite with a balcony was because I envisioned spending time out there. I imagined sitting in a comfortable chair with a cup of coffee in hand, watching waterfalls tumble down mountainsides. I imagined seeing glaciers drift by while doing absolutely nothing.

And by absolutely nothing, I mean absolutely nothing.

No schedule. No deadlines. No emails. No meetings. No alerts. No calendar reminders. No place where I had to be at a specific time.

Just sitting there and letting my brain idle for a while.

For someone who spends most of his professional life thinking, analyzing, writing, presenting, interviewing, and generally running at ninety miles an hour, the idea of doing nothing has become remarkably appealing.

In my mind, that is relaxation.

It is the art of being still.

It is the travel equivalent of putting your phone into airplane mode and leaving it there.

My wife had a very different interpretation.

Her view was perfectly logical.

If we're paying for a cruise ship, why wouldn't we take advantage of everything the cruise ship offers?

There were trivia contests, bingo games, musical performances, watercolor classes, dance venues, comedy acts, stage shows, games, activities, events and more.

And if the daily schedule was printed on a scroll ten feet long, my wife would have happily worked her way through every line of it.

In her mind, that was relaxation.

She wasn't working or dealing with her daily responsibilities. She was enjoying herself. Therefore, she was relaxing.

It's difficult to argue with that logic.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that we were both right.

We simply define relaxation differently.

For me, relaxation resembles finally reaching a beach chair on the first day of vacation after months of work. The emails have stopped. The phone is silent. There is nowhere you have to be and nothing you have to accomplish. You simply exist for a while.

That sounds wonderful to me.

For my wife, relaxation might look more like a montage from a vacation movie where the characters are constantly moving from one enjoyable activity to another, laughing, exploring, dancing, and making memories.

That sounds wonderful to her.

Neither approach is wrong.

They're just different.

The realization got me wondering how many travel disagreements stem from this exact issue.

One person wants to see every attraction in the city.

The other wants to sit at a sidewalk café and watch the world go by.

One person wants to rope-drop Disney and close the park every night.

The other wants to spend the afternoon floating in the hotel pool.

One person creates a spreadsheet.

The other wants to delete the spreadsheet.

I've been both of those people at different points in my life, and a different person at different venues.

Some people travel like a contestant on "The Amazing Race." Every minute has to be optimized. Every attraction has to be visited. Every experience has to be checked off the list.

I can appreciate that, but I do it less as I’ve grown older.

Maybe it comes from spending decades in a career where every hour is scheduled and every day is packed.

At some point, I started valuing the spaces between the activities.

I became more interested in sitting on a balcony overlooking a glacier than I was in making sure I attended every scheduled event onboard.

That doesn't mean the events weren't worthwhile.

Many of them were excellent.

But when I think back on any trip, the moments I remember most vividly aren't necessarily the organized ones. They're the quiet moments.

Those moments don’t require a ticket, a reservation, or a schedule. In fact, their hallmark is not having to do them at a specific time.

Of course, marriage introduces another variable.

Compromise.

The best vacations, much like the best marriages, usually live somewhere in the middle.

Some days should be filled with activity while others should be filled with stillness.

The challenge isn't finding relaxation. The challenge is agreeing on what the word means and balancing the plan – or no plan at all.

So now I'm curious.

When you travel, what does "relax" mean to you?

Does it mean sitting on a balcony with a book and a view?

Does it mean filling every hour with experiences you can't have at home?

Does it mean a little of both?

There may not be a right answer.

But after spending a week sailing through Alaska, I've become convinced that relaxation isn't really a destination.

It's a definition.

And apparently, everybody writes their own. Email me and let me know what “relax” on personal travel means to you. I’ll publish the comments in a future blog.

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This article was written by David Danto and contains solely his own, personal opinions.

All image and links provided above as reference under prevailing fair use statutes.

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As always, feel free to write and comment, question or disagree. Hearing from the traveling community is always a highlight for me. Thanks!