Zooming Past The Invite List

David J. Danto

Travel thoughts in my own, personal opinion

eMail: ddanto@IMCCA.org Follow Industry News: @NJDavidD on

Zooming Past the Invite List:

FOMO When You’re Not In The Room Where It Happens - July 2025

Do you remember that old Groucho Marx quote: “I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members”? I’ve always loved that line. It’s wry, self-deprecating, and a clever way to sidestep the sting of not being invited. But let’s be honest – sometimes it still stings.

I’m writing this from my office chair, sipping coffee, and watching updates roll in from an industry event on the other side of the country. My partner is there, so technically my firm is represented. But more than one person was invited from other firms too, so this wasn't about headcount limits. It’s hard not to notice when you’ve been skipped over. Especially when it happens two years in a row.

There are some clear upsides to missing the trip. No red-eyes, no airport delays, no six-hour flight followed by a one-hour drive for a two-day event – only to do the whole slog again in reverse. If you’ve read any of my travel blogs, you know I’ve long since stopped pretending business travel is glamorous. It’s a schlep. It’s sore shoulders and cramped seats and bad Wi-Fi. Missing the event meant I could meet with another major client here on the East Coast, a meeting that would’ve been sacrificed if I’d flown west.

So yes, I saved some energy and juggled multiple priorities like a pro. But here’s the thing: the FOMO is still real. I know my value, and I know I bring a distinct voice to the conversations happening in our industry – one that end-users listen to. I’ve got four other analyst events on the calendar between now and year’s end – hosted by companies that see that value in having me in the room where it happens. So the absence of this one invite doesn’t change how I view myself… but it sure makes me question how they view me.

FOMO is funny that way. It taps into something deeply human – our need to belong, to be seen, to be included. No amount of professionalism fully inoculates you from that flicker of being the kid left out of the birthday party. And yes, it was Shirley Finkelstein’s party in junior high I wasn’t invited to, and no, I haven’t forgotten it five decades later, just as I won’t soon be forgetting this FOMO.

To be clear, I’ll continue to cover the company objectively. My standards are higher than my ego. But I can’t help but think they’ve blown right past an opportunity – zoomed past it, one even might say – not just to include me, but to benefit from the perspective I bring. Maybe next time they’ll make a different call. Or maybe I’ll be too busy heading to the next event that actually wants me there.

FOMO, as psychologists and sociologists have noted, isn’t just about personal insecurity – it’s often a rational response to perceived exclusion from circles where decisions get made and narratives are shaped. In professional settings, it’s not about needing validation – it’s about recognizing that presence equals influence. When a company curates who gets in the room and who doesn’t, they’re signaling whose voices they deem worth hearing. That’s not just a scheduling decision – it’s a strategic message. And when that message sidelines someone with a significant following, who has spent decades contributing meaningful, critical perspective to an industry, it’s not just a miss. It’s a clear mistake.

Have you ever felt the sting of professional FOMO? Drop me a note – I’d love to hear your story and how you dealt with it, and include it in a future JoeSentMe.com blog.

This article was written by David Danto and contains solely his own, personal opinions.

All image and links provided above as reference under prevailing fair use statutes.

++++++++

As always, feel free to write and comment, question or disagree. Hearing from the traveling community is always a highlight for me. Thanks!